Usually we want to change the other person. Or please the other person. Or dominate the other person. Or be submissive of the other person. Or as we like to think, work out a compromise.
For our relationship to be successful, is the aforementioned really necessary?
Or is the aforementioned a recipe for a disaster?
Or does it treat the symptom, as opposed to addressing the cause?
When we look closely at why we’re in the habit of wanting to change the other person, we’ll notice this!
We do this because we’re convinced if the other person behaves a certain way, or if we behave a certain way, the relationship would work.
More importantly, we’re convinced that we’re not worthy unless we or they do.
Therein is a flaw.
Let’s look closely at our self-worth and our self-confidence.
Can we in fact be in a successful relationship without wanting to change the other person, or changing for the other person?
The answer is yes! It is not necessary to change who we are.
Why is that? And why is it almost common practice to want to change the other person or the other person wanting to change us?
Let’s take a closer look.
This dynamic exists because until we’ve addressed a certain aspect in our life, we took externally to be okay. We look externally to find happiness. We look externally to find security.
And: we’ll never find it externally. Because whatever we’re looking for exists internally, beautifully and harmoniously intact, for us to uncover and explore. And let our internal values and beauty manifest through our lives.
The reality is all that is amiss, is we don’t know this.
Whatever we look for externally already exists internally.
What is thus required is that we’re made aware of it, and that we shift from the behaviour and rather live our internal values as opposed to looking for such externally.
Then everything changes.
We of course stop looking externally and: We don’t need our partner to change to make us happy, or for us to attain inner peace. Thereby we get beyond us wanting to change our partner and vice versa.
What a difference that makes.
Something else also happens; we then recognise the beauty in the other person. A totally new and pleasant experience! Thus we manifest our value and our partner manifests their internal value. And each sees the beauty and harmony of ourselves and the other person.
What do we do to attain this state?
Acknowledge that we see a pattern, in that our relationship/s work at first, then they start going awry – and that when we look back at them closely there is an element of one person wanting to change the other.
Acknowledge further that though we want to change the other person, we see the dynamic at play, that we do this so we’re okay, and we see the fallacy in that, and though we do not know how, we want to change that – to experience our inner beauty and also the other person’s inner beauty.